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Gsxr400bikerbabe Profile
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What should i do???


I have been with my fiance for 5 years nearly but i'm, not so sure if he is into me that much any more? i mean he makes me cry rather than happy at the moment, when he is happy everything is great but when he's in a mood or sleepy he gets rather moody and takes it out on me eg. putting the phone down on me or telling me to go home as i'm anoying him or putting him a bad mood, i know this is a Bike forum but i wanted to have some mens advise ? please help!!!

Cheers

BB
12/5/2009, 7:44 Link to this post Send PM to Gsxr400bikerbabe
 
banditmax1988 Profile
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Re: What should i do???


Its hard to know what to do in situations like this but i'd say if your not making each other happy anymore then you need to tell him how you feel first. Then see how he reacts. If he stays the same and gets grumpy all the time then maybe you need to have a break and see how you feel when your not seeing him etc. If he's like this now what will it be like when you move in together?
12/5/2009, 8:03 Link to this post Send Email to banditmax1988   Send PM to banditmax1988
 
garynortheast Profile
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Re: What should i do???


I'd go pretty much with Banditmax here BB.

A few vaguely related thoughts come to mind. Have you tried talking with him to tell him how the situation is making you feel. If you have and he seems indifferent to to it then it may be better to make the break now rather than when things get more involved and you have to deal with shared property and possibly even the welfare of children further down the line.

If on the other hand he is genuinely willing to try and mend things then it may be worth continuing and seeing how things go.

When a relationship ends or runs it's course it's rare that it's because both people want it to end. Unfortunately it's often the case that only one of the two people involved wants to finish and it's possible that your fiancee's attitude maybe as it is just because he's not brave enough to say he wants to end it.

Whatever the reason, I've found it's better not to hang on to a relationship just because it's a relationship if it's making you unhappy.

Good luck with whatever you decide BB and I'm sure you'll find support here whatever course you take.

---
Gary.

12/5/2009, 11:59 Link to this post Send Email to garynortheast   Send PM to garynortheast MSN
 
Gsxr400bikerbabe Profile
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Re: What should i do???


Hey guys,

Thanks for the advise, i had a heart to heart with my fiance and well he was really upset that i felt like that eg he didn't realise that he made me feel like that sometimes so having a chat and telling him how i felt seemed to have worked emoticon lets just hope that something will come out of our chat lol thanks *hugs*

Cheers

BB
13/5/2009, 12:47 Link to this post Send PM to Gsxr400bikerbabe
 
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Re: What should i do???


Well done BB, how it all goes a little more comfortably for you both now.

Relationships take a lot of effort and a fair amount of compromise. It's all to easy for one or both partners to to slip into that attitude of indifference over a period of time. Familiarity, as they say, breeds contempt.

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Gary.

13/5/2009, 13:27 Link to this post Send Email to garynortheast   Send PM to garynortheast MSN
 
gsxr400rr Profile
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Re: What should i do???


Ohh just come across this post, hows things goin now BB ?

I am some what da master at relationships emoticon I find them very easy to be honest, I have had 4, 3 year relationships since I were 17 with a couple of years off in the middle for good behaviour emoticon

I find the 'key' to a successful relationship is ....

Communication ... if you cannot communicate with your partner then your relationship is already dead, I think its [sign in to see URL] to take time out once a week to spend time with ya partner, go out for the day to a statley home or even a pub lunch, to just make the effort to take time out to sit, chat and LISTEN, this I believe is the solid foundation of a lasting happy relationship.

You say you have been with your partner 5 years, thats a long time, well done for lasting that long, thing is people do tend to take their partner for granted after a while, I feel were all guilty of this to some degree.

When you say things like, he makes you cry, gets moody with you, puts the phone down on you and tells you to go home, these are not good signs and this is not healthy behaviour.

Basically where there is no respect in a relationship there is no love, you wouldn't talk to your daughter like that, hell I wouldnt talk to a animal like that so why your partner ? the person you are supposed to love more than life itself ?

I could sit here and say I hope it works out for you, but you know what, I ain't going to, instead I am gonna say this....

Love ... I hate that word, why ? because people use it to twist and turn to get what they want, such a manipulative word that guys use to get what they want, but ask a guy what the word love means and I bet you they will have no answer, see how manipulative it is ?

I think we all need to find out what love is for ourselves, I found the true meaning of love, love means unconditionally, to love ones partner unconditionally is a very rare thing indeed.

Take for example ya typical couple, man, woman, children, dog, man goes to work, wifey has part time job and stays home to look after the children, now get this, should the wife ever look at another person the man will banish her, why ? simple ..

Basically from a 'typical' mans point of view, whilever your my cook, cleaner, slave etc were fine, but as soon as your attention goes elsewhere I don't 'love' you anymore, this suggests then that most relationships are conditional and where there are conditions there is no love in the first place, hence why 1 in 3 marriages end up in divorce these days.

Be observant, listen to what your heart and mind is telling you inside, see how you feel, and if you don't feel loved, appreciated, happy, ya know all the things you should have in a loving relationship then the answer is quite simple, you walk away, the alternative is you spend the rest of your life unhappy yet we only get to go around this planet once and the more time you waste on this the less time you have to spend with someone you love and someone who loves you AND respects you back.

Anyway, that's my take on it, I do hope though you are more happy now but if not I would seriously consider a change of life.

Best of luck.

Matt emoticon

P.S. sorry for the rant, ain't had much chance to come on ere that much lately so am making up for lost time emoticon

---

9/9/2009, 8:05 Link to this post Send Email to gsxr400rr   Send PM to gsxr400rr
 
Gsxr400bikerbabe Profile
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Re: What should i do???


hey thanks Matt, only just read your reply, well i can tell you i gave me the boot and told him if he really loved me he wouldn't treat me this way and you know what it worked my fiance, has really turned his life around, i didn't get back with him till end of september which worked out 2 months apart and now my life is so great, i don't cry anymore and i feel alot more happerier and as you said its all about communication and we both now communicate better, im glad i had done what i did and now i happerier than i have ever been, just thought i would give you a update emoticon

BB emoticon
14/1/2010, 14:04 Link to this post Send PM to Gsxr400bikerbabe
 
gsxr400rr Profile
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Re: What should i do???


Howdy BB emoticon

Thats marvelous news that is emoticon

Defo ya dont know what ya lost till its gone, seems he seen the error of his ways and changed, brillant !

I hope things continue to stay great for you, and if they don't let us know and the GSX-R gang will come round and sort it out for ya ! emoticon am serious, lots of great guys on ere and ya got to look after ya own havent ya emoticon but well done
 emoticon

---

14/1/2010, 16:40 Link to this post Send Email to gsxr400rr   Send PM to gsxr400rr
 
acidkiller Profile
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Re: What should i do???


hey BB i am kinda new on the forums since i couldn't get registered but i am glad you got it sorted out in the end. you know what they say.. you can't understand how good is something if you won't lose it! and in the end if he starts acting weird again try to talk and explain to him how you feel and what hurts you even the littlest things.. i ve been in this stage many times on both sides and it always works if both want it.. its just the timing some times that wont let you think or do as you would another time. and if that won't work just go ride your bike for countless hours(tested!) emoticon. just a friendly advice and feel free to let us know if you need any kind of help in the future emoticon
21/1/2010, 19:22 Link to this post Send Email to acidkiller   Send PM to acidkiller
 
Gsxr400bikerbabe Profile
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Re: What should i do???


Aww thanks Guys emoticon really appricate it emoticon and i will let you know if anything bad goes on emoticon Cross fingers it doesn't emoticon BB
5/3/2010, 13:54 Link to this post Send PM to Gsxr400bikerbabe
 


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